Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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