i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Randomize
