i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Shame - the story of my life.
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