I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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