i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
