i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
