ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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