whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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