You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I am available for nakedness
ok first of all what the fuck
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
