Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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