...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
that is very illegal...i love you.
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