You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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