Rock
Scissors
Fuck
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
