I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
My pussy is not your playground.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
