The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
