i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
