That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
