i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
