"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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