I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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