I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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