called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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