New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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