DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
