Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm sobbing to NWA
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
