I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
