i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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