Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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