Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
