He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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