I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
