I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
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