One girl and one boy is just not enough.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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