Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I wish you could order shots online.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
