oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
