I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
