so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
you inspire me to be a worse person
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
