i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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