he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
