I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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