i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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