Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
