I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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