hell yes lets make some ravioli
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
