No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize