It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
