i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Randomize
