I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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