omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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