Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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