I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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