I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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