rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
