I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
