I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
