I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Randomize
