Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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