i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize