i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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