You're my little dorito
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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