He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
