I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus