I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.