either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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