Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
